ROGERS — Two messages have landed on my desk over the past couple of days. Both are requests from couples wanting to be married in our congregation’s sanctuary.

No one in either of these couples belongs to our church. I know none of them. In our office we label these nonmember weddings.

Why would any church-going person want to be married by an unfamiliar pastor in an unfamiliar sanctuary? And, for that matter, why would a nonchurched person want to be married by any pastor in any congregation?

Actually, I know why they come to First United Methodist Church. We have a great central aisle and magnificent stainedglass windows. Our sanctuary oozes Christian tradition.

Japan’s population is less than 2 percent Christian, but polls have shown that more than 60 percent of Japanese couples have Christian-style weddings.

Some time back I read a report that Japanese couples are not seeking a religious experience in their Christian-styled ceremonies. Rather, their intent is “to make a fashion statement.” The story goes on to say that neither the participants nor the venues actually want the ceremony tohave any religious meaning.

So what else is new? I have been a pastor for over three decades now. In all that time, I can count on my fingers the number of brides and grooms who were actually looking for a religious wedding experience.

Mind you, this is not Japan we are talking about. This is the Bible Belt South but, in spite of that, religion is not what couples are looking for when they call the preacher to administer their vows.

For too many couples a “church wedding” is more about culture, fashion and convenience than about their relationship with God. After all, with their long aisles and altars, churches are tailor made for a nice ceremony. In the planning stages everyone is more concerned with how the ceremony will look than how it will feel and what beliefs it will reflect. In which case it is all a little sad, since a good marriage is supposed to be aboutshared feelings and common beliefs, not appearances.

I am not sure that the couple being married in Cana of Galilee was expecting to have a religious experience. But early on, as they made their plans, they made a critical decision. They decided to invite Jesus to their wedding. Little did they know that when we invite Jesus into any part of our life he is not going to stand idly by. With Jesus, an invitation becomes participation.

At Cana, before the wedding festivities had ended, Jesus made a miracle. We can only hope that for this couple miracles continued to happen throughout their lives together.

Hope aside, there is one thing we can count on. If as a result of their wedding they became followers of Jesus and throughout their marriage they included him in their relationship, they would be continuously blessed by God.

Not only can a wedding be a religious experience, a marriage can be a religious experience as well.

David B. Bentley is the pastor at First United Methodist Church of Rogers and can be contact at 631-7997 or by email at rogersrev@sbcglobal.

net.

In the Spirit, Pages 5 on 11/04/2009

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